Cross Training

I have officially started following "the plan". Just so you know.

So, if you aren’t a professional athlete, or someone who has followed some sort of training plan, you, like me, may have no idea what “cross training” is. I don’t think regular Joes cross-train. Regular Joes just do the same exercise all the time because we know what the hell we’re doing so it’s easy. However, this so-called cross-training is on my schedule of things to do while training for this marathon, and thusly it must be done. And thusly I must find out what it is.

I suppose I could make up a meaning from the two words “cross” and “training” and get a definition somewhere along the right idea. Remember the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? He is so annoying, but cute, when he constantly relates words back to their Greek meanings. The best example is at the wedding (they finally get to the wedding!) when he compares the groom’s last name Miller, which comes from the Greek word for apple, and his daughter’s last name Portokalos, which comes from the Greek word for orange, and explains that in the end we are all just fruit anyway. (To get a good effect, say the dad lines in his voice and picture him in your mind). I guess that’s just a way of saying “It’s okay for you vegetarian heathen to marry my daughter even though you aren’t exactly like me and have long, skanky hair because at least your last name can sort of stem from a Greek word.” Cute movie; watch it.

If we look at merriamwebster.com, which I am known to do on occasions of needing to win an argument and just plain nerdy curiosity, we cannot find cross-training. We can, however, find “cross-dressing", and if you are wondering, the definition for that is: the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex. It is dated 1911, so I guess Merriam Webster (is it one person? Two people? More?) did a little research on that one. Well now for real, the word cross can be a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, or preposition. Not sure which one to choose, so skip that, too hard, on to the word training: the act, process, or method of one that trains. Oh boy, how helpful. I’m too lazy to look at the MW definition for train so here’s my take on cross-training: you can’t run every goddam day of the week because it’s not good for you so do something else active on Sundays. In my mind, something else active could mean many, many things. Some vigorous cookie baking has been known to get a good sweat on my brow. Walking the dog in too many layers gets a good flush face. Sunday/cross-training day is very open for interpretation.

So, today I chose the “elliptical”. I put it in quotes because in my head I sort of said the word in a mystical and sneaky voice like “oooh, the alleged and elusive elliptical machine.” I’m not sure why I did that, because it is a very standard aerobic machine, chosen, I would say, most often by college girls and moms who want to work out, just not that hard. While ellipting, one can read a book or magazine, watch the tele, chat with extreme hand motions, and on occasion of wanting to be tres rude and annoying, talk on the phone. Now I’m no pro athlete or die-hard exerciser here, but talking on the phone while working out kind of defeats the purpose, no? If you are breathing evenly enough to have a conversation on the phone you aren’t getting the kind of exercise you probably should be. Again, I guess I did just argue that baking can count as a workout, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m sure you already learned this.

I don’t have much to say about the elliptical other than it was my choice of cross-training today. It is rather boring, and I do so not enjoy indoor activities (extra sweaty and no scenery), but I have a good book and had to do something so…here we are.